Who Knew
Title:Who Knew
Author: Vanillasky
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating:
Wordcount:
This story is set in 1994, I wanted to make Col and Ry a little younger, and see how they would get on with the story I’ve set for them. Also, I’ve mentioned they’ve known each other for 20 years, so I’m just pretending they met a little earlier than they actually did in real life.
Ryan and Colin have been friends for over 20 years now. They’ve gone through the good times, the bad times, the happy times, the sad times and the times when they thought they were going to lose it all. They have been through so much together and individually so when one of them feels a little down, they don’t even need to think about who they will go to for support and guidance. It’s like a natural thing to them. They do it without even realizing they are doing it. And today of all days was a time when Ryan needed Colin more than ever.
It was April 22nd, Ryan’s birthday of course. He was turning 35 and he didn’t like it. He wasn’t quite old yet however thinking that in five years time he’ll have reached the big four zero, he just didn’t like the sound of that.
"They say life begins at 40." Ryan said sarcastically to himself.
Colin was sat beside him in the car on their way to Ryan’s house. He smiled softly at Ryan, and then his smile faded.
"But your only 35", Colin said with confusion in his voice.
"Yes and that’s five years away from 40! What a thought." Ryan replied with disappointment.
"Hey, we all get old bud, it’s natural. I used to hate the thought of it though but now, I realized it’s not so bad. Think of the perks eh? People open doors for you, they get you whatever you need, they help you across the road..." Colin continued as he listed the tasks sarcastically.
"Hey! I’m not that old yet!" Ryan shouted as he pushed Colin’s arm playfully, causing Colin to laugh out loud which in turn Ryan couldn’t resist.
"Then why on earth are you so worried about turning 40 then?? You just said your not that old so quit being a baby and relish it darling!" Colin replied theatrically which made Ryan giggle.
They pulled up to Ryan’s house a little less than half an hour later. Ryan hadn’t planned anything special for today, not even a party. He just wanted to relax in his own home with his family, a few friends and a few games of poker. He had, in the past, celebrated his birthdays with a huge blow out. And he loved that. But for some reason he just wanted a quiet one this year. He had his wild days of partying and drinking when he was younger and for some reason he just didn’t feel the need to go huge on this one.
Although there will be drinking in store, just not the kind that he did in the old days. He couldn’t hack it now, and he wouldn’t want to because of his family. He felt as a father he had a right to protect his children and be a good dad. And getting wasted till he passed out certainly didn’t appear on his birthday list today.
"You go in Col, I just need to grab something from the trunk." Ryan said turning to Colin and throwing him the front door keys.
"Okay I’ll see you inside; I’m dying for the bathroom. I’ll leave the door open for you a little kay’?" Colin replied quickly as he ran up to the front door.
Ryan nodded as he rummaged through what seemed like endless objects all thrown into his trunk. "I don’t even know what half of this is." he muttered to himself as he tried to find the thing he was looking for. "Aha!" he said in delight. "knew it was there somewhere."
Ryan was looking for his wedding ring. He had taken it off a few days ago while he was playing golf and it had gotten lost among the heap of objects that lay in his trunk. Turned out it was hidden in the bottom of one of his rucksacks that he carried around with water and other little things that he needed when he was out and about. He slipped the ring onto his left finger then he slammed the trunk shut, locked the car and headed up to the door.
"Col!" Ryan shouted as he pushed the door which was slightly ajar. "Manage to relieve yourself? Didn’t get lost I hope?!" Ryan shouted again as he walked into the kitchen to grab a drink. Ryan just had a new bathroom fitted and it was pretty huge, even he forgot where the shower was sometimes. It was one of those modern ones.
Ryan wasn’t so keen on it but Pat insisted they do it up. She was sick of being embarrassed when company came over. Ryan couldn’t see what was wrong with it; he was old fashioned like that. ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ was Ryan’s attitude, much to Pat’s disapproval. So she won him over in the end.
Ryan sipped his drink before noticing Colin didn’t reply to what he said moments ago. He made his way to the living room where he found a nervous Pat packing things into what seemed to be a suitcase. Ryan frowned and looked at Colin who was walking sharply over to him with both his hands stretched out toward his shoulders.
"C’mon’." he said motioning Ryan out the room.
"What’s going on?" Ryan asked Pat, shunning Colin’s hands from his body and moving closer to her. "You going away with the girls this weekend? I hope not! Have you forgotten what day it is today?!" Ryan said sarcastically but with a glint of happiness.
"No I haven’t forgotten, of course I haven’t I just…" she said with closed features.
"You just…what, babe?" Ryan asked thoughtfully.
Her heart sank as she thought of the words that were about to come out of her mouth. She didn’t want to say this to him. Not today, not ever, but she couldn’t lie to the man she’d been married to for 15 years. Her mouth was dry and her hands began to shake ever so slightly. She stared deep into Ryan’s eyes as she began to tell him.
"Listen to me... I Love You. I always have and always will. But I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m seeing someone else. I have been for 3 months now. I didn’t want to hurt you or the children but it happened so quickly and to be honest, I haven’t been in love with you for over a year now. But I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you. I’m leaving you Ryan…I have to. Because if I don’t I won’t ever go and I can’t do that to you or the kids. I’ll take care of them, you can visit them and have them whenever you like. I’m sorry I had to tell you this way but I couldn’t go on lying to you. I needed you to know the truth and…well; now you know."
She stopped like deadweight, still looking into those deep eyes searching for an answer somewhere. Ryan’s mouth was open, in absolute disbelief. He froze right then and there. He tried to process what he had just heard the woman he loved more than anything say, but nothing registered. He was shocked. It was like he was in a slow motion movie, it just didn’t seem real.
"Wha…di…how…when…" was all Ryan could say in between short sharp breaths. He knew deep, deep down that his marriage was failing but he refused to believe it, even now when it was laid in front of him like a big fat HELLO!!! But that’s Ryan for you – stubborn as ever. He quickly moved around the room, pacing back and forth with his hand over his brow, rubbing it confusingly. He could almost feel his brain going into hyper-drive. He didn’t know what to think. So many things were swirling round in his head so fast it was like a blur and he needed to sit down. The whole time Colin had stood at the doorway, completely silent.
He too had noticed their marriage deteriorating but thought they would pull through, or at least hoped for the children’s sake. But it was only now that they all knew that wasn’t going to happen.
As Ryan sat on the edge of the couch he didn’t think for a second to fight for his marriage. He had it in him but he knew it was a losing battle. Pat wasn’t going to change her mind and since her revelation of not being in love with Ryan anymore, he wasn’t going to humiliate himself further than he felt already. He didn’t even ask her who the other person was. He didn’t want to know. All he cared about was his children and their future.
"So…so, um where do we go from here?" Ryan said quietly, but with determination in his voice.
"I don’t know that yet." Pat replied. "I will never put the kids against you, please know that. Like I said before there is no question that you won’t get to see them. You can have all the access you want. We can just tell them that we’ve decided not to live together anymore. I know it’s hard on them but trust me it would be harder the longer it keeps going on."
Ryan nodded slowly as he felt her words fall on his ears. He really didn’t want to fight, not today, not his birthday. When he really looked into himself he realized he wasn’t in love with Pat anymore either. But he felt that staying with her was the safest option. He needed security and she gave him that ultimately. But it wasn’t as if he hadn’t noticed her lack of interest in him lately.
She finished packing and walked towards the door. Ryan was still sat on the couch, staring aimlessly at the wall while Colin stood directly behind him trying to work out the situation himself.
"I’m sorry." Pat said lowly but with truth in her eyes. Ryan looked to her, nodded once and looked away. He felt so guilty for letting this wreck of a marriage continue for so long and Pat felt that from his look. She walked out the room and moments later the front door shut and a car drove away.
"Where did it all go wrong?" Ryan spoke softly to Colin, distance in his eyes, as if trying to focus back to when he and Pat first were together and were happy.
"Ry," Colin said gently. "I’m not even going to begin to try and answer that, because you know it yourself. It wasn’t easy but at least you tried to make it work, not many people do. You did everything you could, it wasn’t your fault." Colin’s words processed in Ryan’s blurry head but soon became clear as he felt his friend’s voice of reason and he knew Colin was right. The anger and sadness seemed to have passed Ryan long ago. He knew something wasn’t right in his marriage and didn’t need to express those emotions now. Instead, he needed a hard stiff drink.
"Get me a scotch on the rocks, please Col? I feel like getting wasted."
"So much for going t-total." Colin said sarcastically then realized maybe it wasn’t the best remark he could have made, considering the situation.
"Well, guess what…NEWSFLASH, my wife has just left me. My kids have gone with her. I have this big empty house to live in forever and will probably die alone now. So, is that a good enough reason to start drinking??? DING, DING, DING! Our survey says – Correct!!!" The words fell out like vomit as Ryan spoke them as sarcastic as ever. Colin gave Ryan a long comforting stare. And he thought he would just let his friend say what he had to say.
He handed Ryan the drink and with one quick action, Ryan pushed it straight down to the back of his throat. Scotch had never tasted so good he thought. "Another one." Ryan said firmly as he handed the glass back to Colin. And they kept coming like that for a good hour. By that time, both men were laid back on the couch more than a little tipsy.
"Happy Birthday to me!" Ryan said taking another gulp of his scotch, smiling with a glint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Yes, a truly happy birthday to you, my great friend, Ryan Stiles. I am always here for you buddy even if you don’t find another woman." Colin said sarcastically as he smiled softly.
"Very funny, wise guy. But seriously, what if, I never end up with anyone else Col?" Ryan slurred a little as he asked Colin and leaned closer to him.
"Oh don’t be such an idiot. Of course you will, you’re a great catch. You got this big house, you’re funny, you’ve got such a magnetic personality, and you’re just so..." Colin had to stop himself. This was absolutely NOT the right time to say what he almost just said.
"Soooo…?? What?" Ryan replied puzzled.
‘’Oh…I meant…um you’re just so, y’know, you’re cool."
Ryan sat up, with a mischievous look on his face. Colin never spoke like that. ‘Cool’ wasn’t even in Colin’s dictionary, he just never said it. So the fact he just did, Ryan knew something wasn’t right.
"Okaaay my friend, what is going on here? You haven’t used the term ‘cool’ to describe me or anything else ever – so what’s happened? You’ve suddenly shape-shifted and turned into a 17 year old geek who desperately wants to fit in so uses popular and familiar terms to relax people?" Ryan said smiling.
Colin as always was impressed by Ryan’s ability and likeness to go into so much detail just to throw an insult at him, tried to ignore it but felt his heart twinge ever so slightly at Ryan’s warm look on his face.
Colin replied playfully "No, jackass, I just…" Colin thought before he said the next sentence. He didn’t want to tell Ryan now but it looked like it was evidently going to spill out of him anyway, and now that he was free of his wife…what did he have to lose?
"I just think that, you are amazing. And you’re gorgeous so you should have no reason to doubt why you would never end up with anyone else…because you’re perfect. You’re perfect to your kids, to the rest of your family, to everyone you meet and hell you’re even…you’re even perfect to me. And you know that takes a lot."
As Colin finished what he was saying he realized what position he could have just put himself into. Saying all those things to Ryan seemed second nature but the way he said them, the love and desire he carved those words with, he just knew Ryan was going to tear him apart. His inner voice told him what a fool he was as he felt Ryan’s eyes upon him. Ryan knew what Colin was saying. He had felt it for the best part of their 20 year friendship. He just didn’t want to destroy it with feelings that he knew he shouldn’t be feeling.
"Wow Col…how come I’ve...I’ve never heard you speak that way about me before. You’re my best friend and I…I never even knew." Ryan spoke softly as he stared into Colin’s eyes, never looking away. He knew exactly why Colin had never told him, but was too stubborn to admit it himself.
"Well, Ry, you just make me feel happy. Whenever we’re together I am so happy. I’ve never had that. Not in a friendship or relationship – just never. So for you to make me feel things I thought I could never feel… I just… couldn’t help but…"
Colin was unsure whether to say his next words to Ryan as he looked at him intensely as ever.
"Couldn’t help but what Col?" Ryan said swallowing hard with anticipation dancing off his lips.
"Couldn’t help but fall for you." Colin said softly staring into Ryan’s now deadlock gaze.
And there it was. The truth. After 20 years of laughing, improving, touring, taping, sharing everything together! It was those six words that made the two men closer than ever before.
Ryan didn’t need to say anything at all. That was all he wanted to hear.
Both men had become sober in that one moment. Both knowing what they wanted. They stared at each other for a few minutes. Taking in what had just been said. Ryan was dancing inside. He had felt like this for a while now but could never tell Colin in fear of what he may say or do and of course because of Pat and the kids. Colin similarly didn’t want to ruin Ryan’s marriage even though secretly he wanted Pat to leave Ryan; he just never thought it would actually happen.
Ryan’s hands met Colin’s as they edged closer to one another. Words just didn’t seem to matter anymore. They both needed this and wanted this immensely, so actions were all that seemed natural.
"Ry… I never thought this would happen."
"Colin…please…don’t speak. I want to answer your questions with my mouth… and then my tongue, and then caress my hands all over your body and suck and kiss you all over till you cry out for more."
Colin was taken aback by Ryan’s forwardness, but in a good way. He felt himself becoming hard as those words jumped off Ryan’s heavenly lips and into his ears. Ryan started to stroke Colin’s thigh, softly and slowly as he continued his speech. Colin’s dreams were coming true. The man he had given the most to all his life, professionally and personally as a best friend should was sitting an inch away from him, stroking his leg, talking dirty to him and making him harder than ever. ‘And who says you can’t get blood out of a stone?’ Colin thought as he closed his eyes and let Ryan touch him all over.
Both men were becoming increasingly stiff as Ryan undid Colin’s shirt slowly.
"Oh Ryan, look what you’re doing to me."
"And we haven’t even kissed yet." Ryan replied seductively.
At that remark Colin nearly died and went to heaven. If he felt this good with Ryan just stroking him, he couldn’t wait for Ryan to kiss him.
"So kiss me, sexy." Colin said inviting Ryan into his world of dreams.
Ryan leaned closer, shifting his weight so he was practically entwined with Colin. He took one look at Colin before closing his eyes and kissing his friend for the first time on the lips. Their mouths moved in unison as both opened letting each other’s tongue play around in the wet, hot, saliva that had formulated there. Both men’s hands running frantically up and down each other’s backs, the kiss never seemed to stop. Until Ryan pulled away abruptly panting fast and hard with desire in his eyes.
"I want you Col. I want you to lie down, open and wide so I can fuck you so much that you beg me to stop."
Colin was overtaken with lust. He loved the fact Ryan was talking so dirty. The romance and sentiment was lovely to imagine but secretly it turned Colin on more than ever for Ryan to be in control. To order Colin. To tell him what to do. Colin loved to feel like Ryan’s object of desire, in his head at least. So now that it was happening for real – He could barely stand it.
Colin grabbed Ryan in a frenzied embrace and kissed him so hard that Ryan fell off the couch and Colin thudded on top of him. Desire was running through the air like electricity. They wanted each other so bad.
They ripped each other’s clothes off and within seconds they were naked. Ryan reached down to Colin’s firm cock and held it in his hands for a moment before pumping it fast and continued kissing Colin, tongues entwined, bodies so close their was no space between them. Colin’s dick rubbed frantically against Ryan’s hand as Ryan lay directly on top of him still jerking him fast.
Ryan broke away quickly grabbing Colin and throwing him on the couch. He walked slowly over to him, letting Colin examine him properly. His heart skipped a beat achingly. He wanted Ryan badly, and Ryan knew it. Ryan bent down to Colin and whispered in his ear, "I’m going to slowly place my dick in your ass, and then I’m going to thrust you long and deep till you groan and moan my name, and then I’m going to cum inside you so hot you’ll spasm with delight."
‘Oh. My. God.’ Colin thought. He loved the fact Ryan was telling him what he was going to do to him. It turned him on more than he ever thought possible.
"Fuck me baby, and don’t stop." Colin whispered back inviting him in to have his wicked way.
Ryan rolled off of him and grabbed some Vaseline from his pocket rubbing it slowly over his already throbbing member. Colin watched in delight, as someone would watch a magnificent stunt being performed. His mouth dropped open slightly and his eyes widened to the slow motion of Ryan’s left hand stoking up and down his own dick. He could come just by the sight alone. But he held back and wanted to cherish this moment forever. Slowly, Ryan lay on top of him, spreading his legs and touching the rimming him with his cock. Colin groaned gently at the touch, knowing that Ryan’s hard dick was soon going to be inside him fully.
Ryan thrust gently opening Colin’s ass and spreading it wide until his penis disappeared into his hole. Both men cried with pleasure at the feeling of becoming one for the first time.
Ryan placed his hands on Colin’s hips and started pumping rapidly as he slid in and out of the man he had wanted badly from the start. The Vaseline was dripping out of Colin’s ass and Ryan pumped so hard until he moaned a loud "Ohhhh God, Col. Ohhh Yeah."
The pleasure was swimming throughout his body and Colin could feel Ryan’s name as a constant stream of words issuing out of his mouth over and over. "Ohhh-Ryan-fuck-me-Ryan-ohh-yeah-god-yeah-fuck-me-hard-just-like-that-baby-mmm-more." Colin was pumping his own cock fast and hard, basking in the delight of the pleasure Ryan was making him feel. Both men were nearing climax as Ryan’s hands gripped firmly on Colin’s hips, pulling him in and out, so deep.
Ryan leaned down to meet Colin’s lips and kissed him quick several times while whispering "I’m gonna cum, ohh yeah right now." Ryan pumped the last few thrusts into Colin’s ass before grabbing his hands and locking them and screaming a long earth-shattering "Ohhhhhhhhh Yeaaaahh." Hot semen came shooting out and coated itself like a blanket in Colin’s ass. Colin at the same time shot his load all over Ryan’s chest and stomach and just a little flew onto his face. Both men collapsed in ecstasy.
They lay there for a few moments catching their breath. ‘What had just happened?’ Colin thought. ‘How could sex be that good with anyone, let alone you, my best friend, and my male best friend?’ Colin didn’t care; he was overcome with love and joy for that one man who had given him so much, always.
He turned to Ryan who was flushed with joy and sincerity and said "Boy oh boy, where did you learn to fuck like that?" He laughed as Ryan leaned closer.
"I take it you’re glad we did it then?" he said smiling.
"Oh I am MORE than glad, I want it again." Colin said excitedly before kissing the man of his dreams.
"Well, don’t you think I should get something? I mean after all, it is MY birthday." Ryan said with eyes as big as boats and a smile that could melt any stony heart.
"Who knew you could be such a sexy bastard in bed." Colin said as he grabbed Ryan and went on to kiss and explore him more.
"Who knew we would end up like this the same day my wife leaves me?!" Ryan replied with just a hint of irony, in between soft kisses. Colin pulled away and stared deep into Ryan’s emerald green eyes.
"I don’t know Ryan, but I do know that I love you and I never want this to end." Colin said shyly with love and hope shining in his eyes.
"Me neither Col, me neither." replied Ryan with a loving kiss.
"Happy Birthday."