How To Save a Life

Title: How To Save A Life
Author: Vanillasky
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating:
Wordcount:

Step 1 – You Say We Need To Talk

"Ryan, I can’t do this. I won’t ever be able to do this. My heart is incapable of doing this. I am incapable of doing this. So please, don’t make me do this."

Ryan stares at him.

Step 2 – You Say I Need To Breathe

"I love you. I need you. I can’t live life without you. I have to have you. I have to breathe you. I have to love you in the only way I can; with every being of my soul."

Ryan smiles and continues to stare at him.

Step 3 – You Say I Need To Struggle

"Without you; I am nothing. Without you; I am lost. Without you; I am just Colin. Without you; I am hopeless."

Ryan steps closer to him.

Step 4 – You Say I Need To Glow

"With you; I am everything. With you; I am strong. With you; I am home. With you; I am me. And the only time I can truly be me, is with you."

Ryan grabs his hand and holds it.

Step 5 – You Say You Need To Leave

"Why can’t you understand? Why can’t you listen? Why must you blame me?"

Ryan tightens his grip and pulls him close.

Step 6 – You Say I Need To Stop

"Where are you going? Where did you go? Where were you? Where did we go wrong? Where did you leave your heart? Because I.. I can’t find it."

Ryan holds him and kisses his neck softly.

Step 7 – You Say You Have To Go

"I open my eyes; and you’ve gone. I am open my eyes; and you’re not there. I open my eyes and you’ve.. you’ve left me."

Ryan is not there. Ryan was never there. The only place Ryan is, is Colin’s dreams.

Colin stares deeply at the coffin in front of him. Eyes full of tears and his heart full of sorrow and pain. He realizes he was daydreaming as he softly says:

""Ryan, I can’t do this. I won’t ever be able to do this. My heart is incapable of doing this. I am incapable of doing this. So please, don’t make me do this."

And with that, Colin said his final goodbye and shut the lid: forever.